6/19 - Wednesday
Tarot card for the day: King of Swords, upright - be productive and wise in
my actions. Determination and mental agility required. Hmm. Sounds like another
day of survival to me. Little Rock. I have $2.34 left. And a Reese's. The lady
I rode in with dropped me off at the truck stop. The coffee I am drinking will
leave me with a buck, a full bottle of water, a handful of mints from the check
out stand and my last Reese's. But, on the bright side, the restroom has a shower
in it, so I am gonna grab one 'fore I leave out of here. There's a sign on the
window about a fair with a carnival here this week. Maybe the show will let
me read Tarot for part of my take. My long patchwork skirt and the slit sleeved
top are still clean in the bottom of my pack. I can probably pull off the gypsy
routine. All the sun I been getting, I am dark enough that is for sure. Wonder
how long I can make this coffee last?
6/20 - Thursday
Tarot card for the day: The Lovers, reversed - not sure about my emotional needs.
Easy to jump to conclusions. Misunderstandings and unhealthy relationships.
Gee, I hope this is not referring to my new situation. I lucked out. This is
a small show, half of a larger one. They will meet up with the other half after
they close here Sunday night. But for the next four days, I can read with them.
They even got a tent for me by the Funhouse with crystal balls and cards painted
on it. Guess they used to have a fortune teller with them. I gotta give them
half, but even with half, it is way more than I had left. The gal that runs
the balloon booth says I can sleep in her trailer if I help her clean up the
popped balloons after closing and then blow up balloons and restock prizes before
opening. I know I can trade readings for food, at least for a few days. This
will be okay for me.
6/21 - Friday
Tarot card for the day: The Sun, upright - awareness of my blessings. Optimism.
Getting past blockages. Harmony. In spite of all that good influence in my life,
I am wiped out!!! 3 hours of sleep. But I got MONEY!! Gonna keep yesterday's
take as is. The rest of what I get, I'm gonna trade for big bills and sew them
into the hem of my jacket. The gal running this show, she is tough, but she
seems nice. She even made sure I got fed yesterday. Damn, customers already.
Show time.
6/23 - Sunday
Tarot card for the Day: Ace of Cups, reversed - emotional unfulfillment and
upset. Resentment. Hmm, maybe I am not getting past stuff from home on an internal
level like I thought I was. Okay, more meditation on that when I have time.
We don't open till noon today. I got some sleep and a shower in somebody's motor
home. Belle, the boss, she is really happy with me. I been turning quite a trade
and I guess people coming in at the gate been asking where to find me. I think
Belle knows that I lied when she asked about my age, but she ain't pushing it.
And it don't matter. I look older. I always have. They ain't looking for me
at home anyway. I am quite sure they are damn glad I am gone. The guy that runs
the Spider keeps flirting with me. He is kinda cute - got reddish hair tied
in a pony tail and blue eyes. Guess he drives one of the semis too. They all
want me to come with the show. I think I might. Nothing better to do and the
bucks ain't bad. It could get me much closer to California cause I guess they
run pretty far west. And bottom line is, that is still where I really want to
go.
6/24 - Monday
Tarot card for the day: 2 of Wands, reversed - never loosing faith in my dreams,
keeping my mind open to possibilities and keeping my mind balanced. Riding with
Kenny. He is the guy that runs the Spider. He has been a gentleman, at least
so far. Crashed out in the bunk for now. He said something about stopping for
breakfast in an hour or so. He also said something about maybe teaching me to
drive the semi. That would be so cool. I was doing good driving 'fore I split
from home. Bet I could learn to drive this thing. It is just bigger and has
more gears than Tim's pickup. I made some serious bucks at the Little Rock gig.
Even though Belle invited me to come with the show, in the end, I guess it is
up to the guy who owns the whole show. And I guess he is not very nice. They
all say he is fair with money and stuff, but they say he has a nasty temper
and drinks a lot. Of course, they all talk about him behind his back. And I
know from home and from school that crap gets old too. And it does get back
to you. Even if they do not mean for it to. It sure did for me around school.
I get so sick and tired of being called weird and ugly. I just like doing my
own thing. Which, of course, is why I am out here. Nobody thinks I am 16. And
nobody is gonna think it either. I will buy some make up when we get someplace
where I can get so a Wal-Mart or such. That will add to the thinking that I
am in my 20's. Now I just gotta figure out how I am gonna get this guy that
owns the shows to keep me on with them. Belle seems to seriously think that
the amount of money I turned for them will be a big push in my favor. I sure
hope so. We will see for sure sometime tomorrow. The full show sets up in Broken
Arrow, Oklahoma. We were in one of the first four groups out of our site. But
Kenny says the old truck is just that, an old truck and he don't push her none
too hard. Think I am gonna quite writing for now and slip back into the seat
and watch the scenery for a bit.
**Evening - Kenny stopped at a really decent truck stop this afternoon. He decided
to get an oil change on the rig, so I had time to do all the laundry (his too)
and have a really good shower with all the hot water I could dream of. I think
long showers are the thing I miss most. I suppose I could cut off my hair, but
I know that I really don't want to. Long hair that hangs clear to my knees lends
itself well to the gypsy thing for the show and to me being older. Anyway the
long, hot shower really did wonders for making me feel clean again. Then I walked
over to the Wal-Mart and bought some make up and nail polish and a few yards
of some bright satins and stretch velvets that I can sew by hand to make me
some new skirts and shirts for reading. I get tired of wearing the same one
every day. Guess it is a really good thing Gram taught me so much needle work.
Kenny is sleeping for a while, so I am hanging out in the restaurant drinking
sodas and writing in here. Good news is that for the days I worked in Little
Rock, I got 3 one hundred dollar bills stitched in the hem of my jacket and
2 fifties in the lining of my Tarot card bag. So, even if I don't get to stay
with the show, I do have some traveling money.